Introducing Wood Milk™—because if it’s white and in a carton, it must be healthy! 🪵🥛 Backed by 9 out of 10 marketers pretending to be scientists, Wood Milk is gluten-free, dairy-free, logic-free, and 100% made-up. Why trust centuries of nutrition when a TikTok and a lab coat can tell you otherwise? 🤡🔬 #MarketingDisguisedAsScience #TreeSapForTheSoul